Look at all the friends we made in space! We got invited to Little Monster’s welcome back party and it was so much fun that I didn’t even want to leave it forever! But Little Monster got sick, and Ernest needed to leave, so when my 2 best friends leave, I leave too.
Party Monsters!
R.I.P. Glamor Girl
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only your friends will leave footprints on your heart. . . these are the words that once decorated the profile pages of one of my dearest friends. She was a daughter, she was a sister (soul, not blood), she was an inspiration, she was the strongest woman I’ve ever known. . . she was gone too soon. It might have been her beautiful smile, or that infectious laugh of hers, but Cori Anna-Rae Bachmeier had an aura that lit up any room she stepped foot into. With Cori you knew you were going to have a good time. She was like that break of sun in between the clouds; like a single candle in the darkest night, that would tip over and burn the house down! Ow, ow! Holla’ ladies. . . tssstsstss. . . But that flame has been put out today. Never again will we be able to see that smile, or hear that laugh, but as Cori said, “friends leave footprints on your heart”, and if she did that, I believe she can still be that little break of sun in between our clouds.
There will be a party for Cori down at the lake tonight. You can get more info on the R.I.P., Glamor Girl, Cori Facebook group.
Live for the nights you’ll never remember with the friends you’ll never forget. . . 
For Concubine Eyes Only
Command Center Concubine, Command Center Concubine. Agent Consummé here! I’ve got urgent video confirmation on the MΦ Scouter who has landed on planet Earth (Edited on the fly on my Mac Book Pro)! He has been in direct contact with Consumer Squad 5 and it seems that he, and a bizzare Earth-species have joined forces and taken control of a squad member. I will leave immediately after this message has been sent to take down the Scouter and the rogue Consumer. Traitors must not be tolerated in any form! Hail Conquistador! Agent Consummé out!
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Event
Inspired By True Events
An absolutely inspired turn in the extended narrative that is our lives! In this piece I have tried to channel the raw immediacy and emotional height that a news article or television broadcast is unable to capture. I continue to focus on the word contrast, and how this concept can affect an artwork. Here, the sharp, swirling polygonal forms create a violent turbulence that directly plays off of their soft, dream-like, pastel colours. The viewer’s mental space is instantaneously jarred, and they are thrown into the midst of the uninhibited horrors of their reality, and the surreal, instinctual, emotional disconnect that such events call forth. I have diliberately drawn on the cubist aesthetic as a device to warp the viewer’s concept of a sequential time order. Creating the piece within the moment that the real events they depict occur, but using an arguably, archaic visual, that still, however, attaches to itself a sense of future, moves the piece backward and forward through time in a cyclical mess. The viewer is thoroughly disoriented. 
Two Best Friends Means Fung-Us!
BOO! Keeheehee! Was that the scariest thing you ever saw all year? That I said boo and you weren’t expecting it, was that the scariest thing? Maybe if it was, you are getting scared too easily, or maybe you don’t get scared too easily. I don’t know, because only if I was in your shoes I would know, but I wasn’t because I’m not suppose to go into people’s shoes because it’s the worst (=best) way to spread toe fungi! And I know that the girl who looks at my feet says, “remember, it’s fung-I, not fung-YOU!” That means my fungus only belongs to me, and I’m not suppose to give it away, just like my lucky charm that my mom gave me! Both things are very precious to me and I wouldn’t even give them to Trollbabies if he wanted them, and I wouldn’t even give them to my best friend Ernest, or my other best friend Little Monster, even though my fungus and my charm make me really itchy! Keeheehee! Did you notice I have two best friends now? Some people say two best friends is impossible, but I know anything is possible if you believe with your heart. And my heart says, “Harriette, you have two best friends named Ernest and Little Monster, and you better believe it’s possible”! P.S. I met Little Monster in a garbage can, ’cause he was so hungry he was eating garbage! Isn’t that goofy? So I told him that I have lots of garbage all over my yard and my house and my roof, and that he can have it all for free, and he gets to be my best friend. But my two best friends haven’t met yet, because when Ernest and me were looking at the pictures of our Spectacular-City-Tour he got so sick feeling and he’s had to lay on the couch for two whole days! He says these picture are the ones that made him feel so sick. I feel so bad for lil’ Ernest ’cause he is so home sick already, and now he’s real sick too, but I gave him lots of ice cream and he gets to watch Sex with the City, because that’s what my mom used to do to get feeling better- GASP- Oh no! Ernest sounds like he’s in trouble. I gotta go!
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WWE
UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Ah! I hate my life! WWE! Yah that’s short for Worst Week Ever! Like the one I’m having right about -hmm- NOW! Psh! There is waaay too much drama to fit into this one blog, like seriously, fitting all the crap that’s been going on in my life into this entry is like asking me to fit, like, Kirsty Alley into a size 10! Tsssss-tss-tss-tss! Okay, okay, what ev’s! What? Can’t a boy have some fun? Any-Howie Mandouche, back to 9021oh my goodness Danny T’s life sucks! Three words, “Crazy Bitch Cori”. Yah, it’s offish. She wasn’t just having some like devil’s period or something, no, she’s literally insane! Like- what the heck is that noise?- ugh, what ev’, yah, she started pretty much stalking me. Seriously she showed up at like midnight last Saturday and friggen ate my mom’s lawn gnomes! Yah, ATE them! No, no, and that’s not the sickest thing! She knocks on my door a few days later and I’m like “Oh, she’s here to apologize for being such a cow”, but no! She storms into my room and takes a bite out of my armoire! Talk about emotional eating much! WHAT IS THAT FRIGGEN’ NOISE OUTSIDE? Seriously, if that’s the stupid old lady doing more renovations on her house I’m honestly going to kill her before the realization that her life is meaningless does!
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Breaking of the Blog
Berger: I am entirely at a loss as to why we’ve received so little traffic on our debut art blog! I could have sworn we were set to become the next “evolution of dance“! Do you think we’ve made some sort of error that has driven our post to such a lack of viewership, Haute?
Daug: Uck! Hank, this is ridiculous! Have we made some sort of error? Of course we have! It was an error of such Faustian grandeur I can only hope that I can resuscitate my reputation with the few, minute shreds of dignity that have yet to blow away with the wind! The irradic fervor that is the online community will never satisfy its shallow palette if faced with art pieces that demand extended, emotionally-invested contemplation! The combination of the two entities is the very definition of failure! Look, for example, at the mindless dribble that was our viewers’ response:
Berger: Do you think if we somehow incorporated a laughing baby into our critiques-
Daug: You continue with your prostitution!?
Berger: Tsk! I can’t believe you could so readily dehumanize the street walking profession by attaching such negative connotations to the word! It is a completely legitimate form of financial income for many impoverished women (and men for that matter!).
Daug: Oh I completely agree! What right do we have to debauch another human being who has been imprisoned in such a situation? It’s like poking monkeys at a zoo! It was an absolutely ignorant remark which I plead retraction for! However, my objection to this art blog remains unchanged!
Berger: Haute, do explain in fuller detail such a furious stance! OH! You know, perhaps if all of our critiques were in some way an emotionally charged plea to leave Brittany alo-
Daug: Enough! Hank Berger, I am cutting all ties to your name as you seem hellbent to drag your reputation and anyone who has legitimized it deeper and deeper into a pit of cyber-feces! Adieu is my bidding!
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What trash this is! Must we pander to such thick-headedness?